| glad everything is okay |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|01:25 am] |
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I just want to say how glad I am that the last few days are behind me, and everything is back to normal. I am done being mad at a certain someone, and she really showed me she cared when she apologized. it meant a lot, and I am sorry she and I fought. It brings a smile to my face knowing she and I are that close, even if this wasn't the best way to find that out... |
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| It hurts |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|05:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
just when I ams tarting to thinkt that life is okay, and maybe I really do have a place in this world, something like this happens.
You had NO RIGHT to talk to me like that. i thought you were my friend, and that maybe you really cared about me. But, If you are really willing to hurt me the way you did today, I am not sure that is even possible. I have never been so insulted in my entire life, and I am not sure right now when and if I can ever find the strength to forgive you.
You've opened up wounds I forgot I ever had, and it hurts. A LOT. Sometimes, when I feel sad like this, I go back to my room and cry. But, today, I almost didn't make it back to my room. I've never been so hurt. |
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| confused, angry and numb |
[Feb. 28th, 2007|11:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
Sometimes, the little things get to you more than they did before. I guess maybe that's because sometimes, it is just so much easier for us to see.
where am I coming from with all of this? It occurred to me tonight that while I do have some great friends, a lot of their friends aren't particularly fond of me. in fact, they are often downright mean to me. I guess maybe they don't accept me because I'm different, or maybe because they don't know me as well. If that's the case, I doubt they will ever accept me.
But, it isn't acceptance I want. I want to be treated like everybody else, not like I am just some kind of parasite that you have to put up with. I want to be treated like a human being |
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| Am I different? |
[Nov. 12th, 2006|06:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Sickness, by Disturbed | ] |
The potential of human stupidity never ceases to amaze me. It does, however, disgust me far more than I could ever describe. Why is it wrong for me to say something, but perfectly acceptable for someone else to? The answer is simple enough, I suppose: people expect me to act a certain way. And frankly, I am sick of it. I don't want to be thought of as the goody two-shoes, and I am tired of being afraid to step out of my shell.
Is there something about me that is so fundamentally different? No, there isn't. I am just trying to step out of my shell and learn to relax a little, but even that seems like to much to ask my peers to allow me. As far as they are concerned, I should just sit and wait for my life to be over rather than go out and live it. I don't need that kind of neglect from anyone, especially people I have only known a few months in my freshman year of college. No one has a right to form that kind of opinion of me so quickly. I was never even given a fair chance. |
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